Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Things You Learn
Kira is almost 9 months now. Sometimes, it is surprising to see how much of her personality is already evident (inasmuch as I can tell sans crystal ball). So far, there are two big things that I know about my daughter: she loves people and animals, and she has a quiet, stubborn will.
Her love of people and animals is immediately obvious. I posted a while back about how she seems to make people happy, and part of that is her infectious smile. She smiles at people constantly. And nothing makes her face light up quite like an animal--any kind, really. She adores our cats and our dog. She has tried to garble out "Hi, George" (our cat's name) and "good cat." She loves the zoo and will stare, smile, and laugh at pictures of giraffes and penguins. A future biologist or animal activist? Time will tell.
What really catches me by surprise are her moments of quiet rebellion. So far, Kira isn't one to throw fits or cry, though she does cry some when she is upset. Instead, she has a way of doing what she wants without fuss. An example: Three months ago, Kira first held her bottle herself. She did it once but refused to do so again. If you tried to put her hands on the bottle, she would jerk them away and look at you like "That's your job." She wanted her hands free for more interesting things, like grabbing necklaces or smacking herself in the head to stay awake because she didn't like how soothing drinking milk could be. Then a couple of days ago, she started sort of holding her own bottle. She put one hand on the bottom like she could barely manage. I thought the odd shape of the Tommee Tippee bottles might just be harder for her.
Today, I caught my little willful faker. She started out with her normal 'hand on the bottom of the bottle' hold and balanced it there. Then when she was done, she pulled the bottle out with both hands. She proceeded to turn it around, shake it, smile and chatter at it. She held that bottle like a pro, and even brought it to her mouth easily a few more times. I'm pretty sure she's had the ability for a while now considering how well she has held her toys; she just didn't want to do it. No tears, anger, or fuss. Just a quiet refusal to do something that she didn't want to do. I guess she finally got tired of not having control of her milk.
I think I'm going to have to keep a close eye on her in coming years. I can imagine her quietly going to her room when I tell her to clean it and proceeding to play for a few hours, and I don't even want to contemplate the implications for the teen years.
I foresee a lot of double-checking in my future. :)
Her love of people and animals is immediately obvious. I posted a while back about how she seems to make people happy, and part of that is her infectious smile. She smiles at people constantly. And nothing makes her face light up quite like an animal--any kind, really. She adores our cats and our dog. She has tried to garble out "Hi, George" (our cat's name) and "good cat." She loves the zoo and will stare, smile, and laugh at pictures of giraffes and penguins. A future biologist or animal activist? Time will tell.
What really catches me by surprise are her moments of quiet rebellion. So far, Kira isn't one to throw fits or cry, though she does cry some when she is upset. Instead, she has a way of doing what she wants without fuss. An example: Three months ago, Kira first held her bottle herself. She did it once but refused to do so again. If you tried to put her hands on the bottle, she would jerk them away and look at you like "That's your job." She wanted her hands free for more interesting things, like grabbing necklaces or smacking herself in the head to stay awake because she didn't like how soothing drinking milk could be. Then a couple of days ago, she started sort of holding her own bottle. She put one hand on the bottom like she could barely manage. I thought the odd shape of the Tommee Tippee bottles might just be harder for her.
Today, I caught my little willful faker. She started out with her normal 'hand on the bottom of the bottle' hold and balanced it there. Then when she was done, she pulled the bottle out with both hands. She proceeded to turn it around, shake it, smile and chatter at it. She held that bottle like a pro, and even brought it to her mouth easily a few more times. I'm pretty sure she's had the ability for a while now considering how well she has held her toys; she just didn't want to do it. No tears, anger, or fuss. Just a quiet refusal to do something that she didn't want to do. I guess she finally got tired of not having control of her milk.
I think I'm going to have to keep a close eye on her in coming years. I can imagine her quietly going to her room when I tell her to clean it and proceeding to play for a few hours, and I don't even want to contemplate the implications for the teen years.
I foresee a lot of double-checking in my future. :)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Counting the Good
I was reminded yesterday that if we celebrated happiness the way we do unhappiness, our lives would be much richer indeed. This conversation came not long after a pretty bad couple of weeks. It wasn't that one truly bad thing happened; no, it was one of those times when one thing seems to happen after another. When you feel like you can't take one more thing, and then something else comes up. Your refrain becomes "seriously?", and it feels like you will never escape.
After the fact, I tend to realize that part of the problem is my own reaction to stress. After a few stressful events, it's like I start looking for more. I get tunnel vision and only see the bad. I think I could win the lottery during one of those weeks and only be able to think "Oh no, taxes!"
So why are the opposite types of weeks so rare? I don't seem to get tunnel vision for the awesome times nearly as often, though good things certainly happen in my life. I suppose you could say that it is partially where I am on the pessimist v. optimist spectrum, but I refuse to accept that. I'm not going to let myself stand in the way of my own happiness.
As my friend suggested, I think I need to work on counting happy events as strongly as the negative ones. Though this is not entirely natural to my disposition, I am not such a pessimist that I can't reverse my thinking. I used to be an extreme pessimist; I was emo as a teen before emo was cool, but I've worked myself to the middle ground. Now, it is just a matter of bumping myself a little farther along on the optimist side.
So let me start by saying that it has been an excellent week so far. Kira has been extremely happy, and I've been in a good mood. My family and friends are all safe from the storms that came through on Monday, and we didn't have any storm damage. Ben had a good birthday dinner Tuesday night, and Kira was good the entire two hours at the restaurant.
What about you? What good things have happened for you this week?
After the fact, I tend to realize that part of the problem is my own reaction to stress. After a few stressful events, it's like I start looking for more. I get tunnel vision and only see the bad. I think I could win the lottery during one of those weeks and only be able to think "Oh no, taxes!"
So why are the opposite types of weeks so rare? I don't seem to get tunnel vision for the awesome times nearly as often, though good things certainly happen in my life. I suppose you could say that it is partially where I am on the pessimist v. optimist spectrum, but I refuse to accept that. I'm not going to let myself stand in the way of my own happiness.
As my friend suggested, I think I need to work on counting happy events as strongly as the negative ones. Though this is not entirely natural to my disposition, I am not such a pessimist that I can't reverse my thinking. I used to be an extreme pessimist; I was emo as a teen before emo was cool, but I've worked myself to the middle ground. Now, it is just a matter of bumping myself a little farther along on the optimist side.
So let me start by saying that it has been an excellent week so far. Kira has been extremely happy, and I've been in a good mood. My family and friends are all safe from the storms that came through on Monday, and we didn't have any storm damage. Ben had a good birthday dinner Tuesday night, and Kira was good the entire two hours at the restaurant.
What about you? What good things have happened for you this week?
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Your Wednesday Geek Moment
My husband and I had quite a debate last night on the way home from his birthday dinner. Though only marginally related to politics, it grew quite heated at one point. Our point of contention? The proper composition of a questing party when attempting to save the world.
It started with my husband's assertion that, despite their presence in movies and books, there hadn't really been many evil geniuses in human history. I responded that there had been but they had been stopped by a party of people on a quest to save the world. This unknown history had, of course, been lost, only to be found once more by Japanese RPG makers and fantasy novelists.
All you need, really, is a warrior, a healer, a couple of mages, and a rogue. It is necessary, I asserted, that at least one of these people be royalty, either openly or secretly. What epic quest can succeed without a prince or princess in the mix? Chances are, the hero will be an orphaned prince or the heroine a run-away princess. Who else is going to hook you up with an airship when the evil villain is surrounded by impenetrable mountains? No one, that's who.
My husband disagrees. He maintains that a child of any kind of head-of-state is acceptable in this day and age. But really, a proper questing party has to travel around the world anyway. There are plenty of monarchies where they could pick up a needy royal. So what if they're angsty and not necessarily good at their role? We're talking airships, people. A president would have to spend months getting that through congress.
In all seriousness, wouldn't it be cool if the world's problems could be solved via RPG quest? I suppose it would be kind of strange to see a group of people in armor beating up slime in my backyard, though.
But whatever works.
It started with my husband's assertion that, despite their presence in movies and books, there hadn't really been many evil geniuses in human history. I responded that there had been but they had been stopped by a party of people on a quest to save the world. This unknown history had, of course, been lost, only to be found once more by Japanese RPG makers and fantasy novelists.
All you need, really, is a warrior, a healer, a couple of mages, and a rogue. It is necessary, I asserted, that at least one of these people be royalty, either openly or secretly. What epic quest can succeed without a prince or princess in the mix? Chances are, the hero will be an orphaned prince or the heroine a run-away princess. Who else is going to hook you up with an airship when the evil villain is surrounded by impenetrable mountains? No one, that's who.
My husband disagrees. He maintains that a child of any kind of head-of-state is acceptable in this day and age. But really, a proper questing party has to travel around the world anyway. There are plenty of monarchies where they could pick up a needy royal. So what if they're angsty and not necessarily good at their role? We're talking airships, people. A president would have to spend months getting that through congress.
In all seriousness, wouldn't it be cool if the world's problems could be solved via RPG quest? I suppose it would be kind of strange to see a group of people in armor beating up slime in my backyard, though.
But whatever works.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Competing with Yourself
I'm sorry that it has been over a week since I posted. Aside from a brief mini-vacation, things have been a bit crazy around here, and not always in a good way. Colds, exterminators, and a great deal of "seriously?" in the last two weeks. I can only be grateful that Kira isn't a toddler yet, or things would have been destroyed. Yeah, like that.
Anyway, on to my point. I've posted a lot about the trend of competitive motherhood. Just recently, I've been reminded that the competition is not always external. I've found myself struggling with the internal kind, and boy, is it insidious.
I have several friends on Facebook who have babies around the same age as Kira, and they post pictures. Pictures of their babies crawling, pulling themselves up in their cribs, holding their own bottles--all things that Kira has yet to master. Now I'm not one of those mothers who thinks bad thoughts about other babies; I'm legitimately happy for those families. The criticism is all for myself. "What am I doing wrong?" I ask myself. I start to wonder if it is my fault that Kira isn't already doing these things.
I've heard over and over that babies develop at their own pace and that we shouldn't compare. Logically, I understand and even believe this. So why can't I seem to believe it emotionally? Surely I should be able to teach Kira to play Mozart and read Shakespeare by 5, right? Surely.
When this happens, I just have to stop and roll my eyes at myself. Sometimes, I am too much of a perfectionist for my own good. So Kira isn't crawling or walking circles around the couch. What, exactly, does that mean?
Besides the fact that I don't have to chase her yet. Hmm... Maybe the other mothers are envying me. :)
Anyway, on to my point. I've posted a lot about the trend of competitive motherhood. Just recently, I've been reminded that the competition is not always external. I've found myself struggling with the internal kind, and boy, is it insidious.
I have several friends on Facebook who have babies around the same age as Kira, and they post pictures. Pictures of their babies crawling, pulling themselves up in their cribs, holding their own bottles--all things that Kira has yet to master. Now I'm not one of those mothers who thinks bad thoughts about other babies; I'm legitimately happy for those families. The criticism is all for myself. "What am I doing wrong?" I ask myself. I start to wonder if it is my fault that Kira isn't already doing these things.
I've heard over and over that babies develop at their own pace and that we shouldn't compare. Logically, I understand and even believe this. So why can't I seem to believe it emotionally? Surely I should be able to teach Kira to play Mozart and read Shakespeare by 5, right? Surely.
When this happens, I just have to stop and roll my eyes at myself. Sometimes, I am too much of a perfectionist for my own good. So Kira isn't crawling or walking circles around the couch. What, exactly, does that mean?
Besides the fact that I don't have to chase her yet. Hmm... Maybe the other mothers are envying me. :)
Friday, March 25, 2011
Personal Demotivator?
As my Facebook friends know (whether they wanted to or not), I had a rather demotivational consultation with a personal trainer yesterday. Gold's Gym only gives you one free consultation, and I had envisioned that they would give me tips on my workout routine, explain the machines to me, and provide encouragement. Unfortunately, that isn't exactly how it worked.
The trainer started out by determining my motivations and then explaining the fundamentals of weight loss and exercise. He talked about the type of routine required for a good twenty minutes, yet somehow managed not to provide any really useful information. He told me that eventually I would want to have a strong basis in resistance training, cardio, and nutrition. That I would start out on mostly cardio, but they would eventually get me to the right form. My questions on any of this tended to be brushed aside with a "that's complicated" or "we'll get to that later." Later, it appears, is after I've started paying them $45 a session.
Some of what happened was contradictory and confounding. He had me use the treadmill, and when I got on, I asked if he could explain the machine. He breezed right past my question with some mumbled phrase about how he didn't really know all about the machine or need to know. It was clear that he just wanted me to shut up, hit the Quick Start button, and start walking. After that, we did some floor workouts. Earlier, he had asked me if I was sore anywhere from previous workouts because pain after workouts meant that you should rest that area for a couple of days. I told him my legs were sore from Yoga. What floor exercises did he give me? Leg exercises. WTF? I hurt so much today that it's hard to walk.
At the end, he told me that 7 out of 10 people at the gym wouldn't make their goals or get full use out of the gym--except for the people who paid for a personal trainer. Apparently, those people never fail. Instead of learning what my (safe) target heart rate should be during exercise (I was told it was complicated and would be calculated later), I learned that Gold's Gym's trainers are pretty much there to try to get you to spend lots of money. That being said, my friend BJ told me that there are some truly good trainers out there.
How does one go about finding the good kind? Anyone have a good experience?
The trainer started out by determining my motivations and then explaining the fundamentals of weight loss and exercise. He talked about the type of routine required for a good twenty minutes, yet somehow managed not to provide any really useful information. He told me that eventually I would want to have a strong basis in resistance training, cardio, and nutrition. That I would start out on mostly cardio, but they would eventually get me to the right form. My questions on any of this tended to be brushed aside with a "that's complicated" or "we'll get to that later." Later, it appears, is after I've started paying them $45 a session.
Some of what happened was contradictory and confounding. He had me use the treadmill, and when I got on, I asked if he could explain the machine. He breezed right past my question with some mumbled phrase about how he didn't really know all about the machine or need to know. It was clear that he just wanted me to shut up, hit the Quick Start button, and start walking. After that, we did some floor workouts. Earlier, he had asked me if I was sore anywhere from previous workouts because pain after workouts meant that you should rest that area for a couple of days. I told him my legs were sore from Yoga. What floor exercises did he give me? Leg exercises. WTF? I hurt so much today that it's hard to walk.
At the end, he told me that 7 out of 10 people at the gym wouldn't make their goals or get full use out of the gym--except for the people who paid for a personal trainer. Apparently, those people never fail. Instead of learning what my (safe) target heart rate should be during exercise (I was told it was complicated and would be calculated later), I learned that Gold's Gym's trainers are pretty much there to try to get you to spend lots of money. That being said, my friend BJ told me that there are some truly good trainers out there.
How does one go about finding the good kind? Anyone have a good experience?
Monday, March 21, 2011
Babies, the Natural Mood Boost
I have come to realize that babies are a mood boost. I'm not necessarily talking about the joy we feel as parents nor am I in any way implying that postpartum depression can be cured by our babies. As a matter of fact, I'm not talking about depression at all. I'm talking about a baby's effect on other people, random strangers you see in stores, the park, the zoo, etc. If you are paying attention, it is magical.
Now let's be honest: a crying baby in public doesn't help anyone's mood. Pretty much ever. But I've noticed that when Kira is happy in her stroller, the people around us are happy, too. People who were walking by with frowns, looking harried, will stop for just a moment to smile at my daughter. In restaurants, neighboring diners brighten when they see Kira chewing on a roll or practicing her "ma da la ba da." Her smile has the power to alter the worst moods.
Is it her innocence, her cuteness? Or is it the innate happiness she exudes (except at nap time)? I wish I had her ability to be so absolutely, completely happy. So in the moment. Rest, a full stomach, and a nice stroller ride with new sights to see--these are enough for her. In that instant, Kira probably isn't thinking about getting a new toy or outfit or about what kind of cereal she'll have for lunch. She is just happy to be in that place at that time with her physical needs met.
Maybe when adults and older children stop to smile at her, they are picking up on that magical, pure happiness. Babies remind us of hope, innocence, and joy for a reason.
Maybe we could all learn from a happy baby in a stroller.
Now let's be honest: a crying baby in public doesn't help anyone's mood. Pretty much ever. But I've noticed that when Kira is happy in her stroller, the people around us are happy, too. People who were walking by with frowns, looking harried, will stop for just a moment to smile at my daughter. In restaurants, neighboring diners brighten when they see Kira chewing on a roll or practicing her "ma da la ba da." Her smile has the power to alter the worst moods.
Is it her innocence, her cuteness? Or is it the innate happiness she exudes (except at nap time)? I wish I had her ability to be so absolutely, completely happy. So in the moment. Rest, a full stomach, and a nice stroller ride with new sights to see--these are enough for her. In that instant, Kira probably isn't thinking about getting a new toy or outfit or about what kind of cereal she'll have for lunch. She is just happy to be in that place at that time with her physical needs met.
Maybe when adults and older children stop to smile at her, they are picking up on that magical, pure happiness. Babies remind us of hope, innocence, and joy for a reason.
Maybe we could all learn from a happy baby in a stroller.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)