The Gerber Generation

A couple of days ago, I decided to buy Kira a Gerber Graduates cheese ravioli meal.  My thinking was that it would be easy to cut into small pieces, and that was indeed the case.  The only problem?  I don't know what that stuff is made of, but it isn't food.

She made the worst face when she tried the first bite.  Then, I got the "what is this?  have you lost your mind!?" look.  The look that says I am too crazy to even be babbled at.  Wondering what could be wrong with cheese ravioli, I popped one into my mouth.  Without another word, I went and got her something else to eat.  How, Gerber, how can you go wrong with cheese ravioli?

You know how American cheese says "Processed Cheese Product" on the label?  Honestly, I don't think this meal could even qualify for that.  I couldn't even taste fake cheese flavoring.  No wonder she didn't want to eat it.

My daughter will happily snatch up pieces of rice and chicken from the Mexican restaurant and curry at the Thai place. She loves to eat what we are eating, and that makes me happy. I thought the occassional Gerber meal would be good for lunch if I was super busy, but Kira will have none of it. And who could blame her?

I've seen children who will only eat chicken nuggets and fries at every restaurant.  Sometimes, that's just a phase.  But I have to wonder if sometimes that is caused by a generation of children raised on these Gerber Graduate meals.  They are bland to the point of ridiculousness when few spices cause children any bother.  How many children think that is what food is supposed to be?

I've decided that if I want a quick and easy lunch for Kira, I'll just make extra real ravioli next time we have it and put it in the freezer.  Thawing might not be quite as fast, but it will be so, so much better.  In more ways than one. 

 

Me and Dr. Sears

Brace yourselves.  I am about to speak words of blasphemy to many new mothers.  Ready?  Do you have your fingers in the angry-comment position?  Okay.

I do not like Dr. Sears.

There, I said it.  Now, I have nothing against the man personally.  I've never met him or interacted with him in any way, so it would be entirely unfair to dislike him on that level.  What I don't like is the phenomenon that is Dr. Sears.  The figurehead.  The ultimate authority.

Dr. Sears is everywhere.  Open up a magazine on babies and toddlers, and chances are good that you'll find an article written by him.  Baby products proudly announce that they are endorsed by Dr. Sears.  "But he is full of wisdom about babies," you might say.  I'm sure that is true.  I'm sure that his advice has helped plenty of parents. 

That being said, he is not the god of pediatricians.  "Because Dr. Sears said so" should not be the end of any discussion.   I have encountered that attitude entirely too often.  Your method of parenting is not necessarily better just because it is endorsed by Dr. Sears.  There are other pediatricians and baby experts in the world, and I can even have an opinion different from all of them.

Really, I think we rely on "experts" entirely too often for things that are not serious health questions.  Maybe it goes back to that need for validation that I've mentioned before.  We as parents need some way to say "I'm doing a good job because..."  But these experts are not in our homes with our babies.  Their advice can be useful, but it shouldn't be used as an ultimate authority.

It is time to rely more on Dr. Mom and Dr. Dad.

The Difference a Week Makes

It is amazing how quickly babies change.  You hear that statement so many times, but when you are struggling with a transition, it can be hard to believe it.  So goes the sippy cup saga.  Was it just a little over a week ago that she finally started drinking from the sippy?  Yesterday, she took all of her milk from sippy cups without a complaint.  It didn't even mess up her bedtime routine!

I suppose this has me feeling a little philosophical.  How often do we feel like a situation in our lives can never change?  When you are in the middle of said situation, it is difficult to consider that it will ever end.  But you just never know.  I have no idea why Kira went from zero interest in her sippy cups to loving them.  It just happened.  That kind of unexpected, unexplained change can happen in other areas of your life, too.

I've had a lot of trouble with postpartum depression and anxiety, and at times, I feel like I'll never get better.  But hey, I never know what day my hormones might settle down.  I could go back to feeling normal tomorrow.  One thing is for sure, though: as long as I keep feeling like things will stay the same emotionally, then they certainly will.

It is hard to remember to look on the bright side.  You never know when a negative will become a positive.

Morning Milk and Cuddles

If you remember one of my last posts, you know how much trouble I've had getting Kira to drink from a sippy cup.  I'm happy to say that we've had a little progress on this.  For the last two days, she has drunk almost all of the milk at her mid-day feeding from a straw sippy cup.  I had to hold the cup the whole time, but hey, I'm still counting it as a win.

Now that she has started to drink from her sippy, I know it is time to begin moving her off bottles.  Every day, I tell myself that I'll start tomorrow.  Tomorrow, I'll get Kira up and dressed, then give her a sippy cup of milk in her high chair.  Yep, I'll get right on that.

I know I should have started trying sooner to get her used to the concept, but I keep hesitating.  This time, it is all me.  See, I love our mornings.  Kira starts to chatter in her crib, so I go make her milk.  When I opened the door this morning, she started kicking her feet happily and saying a few words (?) of greeting, though sometimes she is standing up and jumping.  I cuddle her in my lap in the glider and give her her milk.  I can lean down and kiss her head and hug her close.  It is a precious moment.

I guess it is hard to face that my baby is turning into a little girl more every day.  If I had been able to breastfeed, I suppose these moments could have continued, but that was not to be.  Right now, it is all on me to transition.  I dread doing it.  After her milk, Kira cuddles on my lap and often gives me hugs.  The rest of the day, she wants to be on the go constantly.  Will I lose that when she starts taking her milk from a sippy cup?

Only time will tell.

Baby Safety (Or a Lack Thereof)

I have a little bit of a rant, my friends.  This isn't about people who endanger their children, though that could certainly be its own post.  This is about companies that endanger our children without thought of the consequences.

You know the scenario: You are out and about with your baby when you smell that telltale scent of 'diaper needs changing.'  So you go to the store's bathroom, pull down the changing station, and prepare to change that diaper.  Now imagine my surprise the other day when I went to secure the safety strap (You use them, right?  Concrete floors are hard.) and found that our local Wal-mart cut off the safety straps.  This was clearly not negligence, a simple lack of knowledge about broken equipment.  The straps were intentionally cut off close to the base, and I found this to be the case in the other bathroom.  I've found plenty of broken or otherwise unusable safety straps at other changing stations.  

Another common scenario:  Your family is going out to eat, and you request a high chair for your baby.  Many times this works fine.  But there have been cases where restaurants have had to search through their chairs to find one with working safety straps.  Now, I know that there are plenty of moms who don't use them.  I see it all the time, especially with older babies.  But when my daughter was six months, she didn't always sit up well, and at ten months, she likes to try to lean over and reach stuff she drops.  Darn skippy I use those straps!  We should not have to search through a stack of high chairs to find one that is actually safe.

I don't understand how companies can do this.  Aside from obvious lawsuits (it's only a matter of time for our local Wal-mart), these are babies.  How can you play with the safety of little babies just so you don't have to spend a few bucks on a new high chair?  It is truly sad.

I wish more places would copy our local La Siesta restaurant.  When I pointed out a broken plastic piece on a high chair, the waitress was horrified and took it to the manager immediately for replacement.  We haven't had a broken one since.  Much better than the server we had at O'Charley's who put two broken high chairs back on the stack without a word.

Anyone else run across this problem?

A Sneaky Way to Introduce Avocado

I've read a good bit about making baby food, and I have to say that one of the foods I was most looking forward to giving my baby was avocado.  I mean, avacado is full of vitamins, minerals, and healthy fats.  It is soft and easy to smoosh.  An obvious choice for one of baby's first foods.  But there was only one problem--my lovely daughter hated avocado.  

I gave up on this wonderful fruit until I ran across this blog post over at Wholesome Baby Food.  It sounded like a great idea, but I didn't get around to trying it until just recently.  I modified her recipe by using a mango instead of half a papaya.  Why?  Well, papaya was around $4-5 at the store that week and mango was $1.50.  I imagine you could substitute other tropical fruits just as successfully.  Basically, I combined and blended:

1 mango
1 avocado
1 quarter of a pre-cored pineapple


I have to say, the recipe is awesome!  It smells absolutely wonderful--you could probably add some ice and make yourself a fruit smoothie with the same stuff.  My daughter can't get enough, even with the addition of her nemesis, avocado.  I've also mixed it with some banana or vanilla baby yogurt.

If you want your picky baby to get some avocado goodness, I highly recommend this recipe.

The Things You Learn

Kira is almost 9 months now.  Sometimes, it is surprising to see how much of her personality is already evident (inasmuch as I can tell sans crystal ball).  So far, there are two big things that I know about my daughter: she loves people and animals, and she has a quiet, stubborn will.

Her love of people and animals is immediately obvious.  I posted a while back about how she seems to make people happy, and part of that is her infectious smile.  She smiles at people constantly.  And nothing makes her face light up quite like an animal--any kind, really.  She adores our cats and our dog.  She has tried to garble out "Hi, George" (our cat's name) and "good cat."  She loves the zoo and will stare, smile, and laugh at pictures of giraffes and penguins.  A future biologist or animal activist?  Time will tell.

What really catches me by surprise are her moments of quiet rebellion.  So far, Kira isn't one to throw fits or cry, though she does cry some when she is upset.  Instead, she has a way of doing what she wants without fuss.  An example:  Three months ago, Kira first held her bottle herself.  She did it once but refused to do so again.  If you tried to put her hands on the bottle, she would jerk them away and look at you like "That's your job."  She wanted her hands free for more interesting things, like grabbing necklaces or smacking herself in the head to stay awake because she didn't like how soothing drinking milk could be.  Then a couple of days ago, she started sort of holding her own bottle.  She put one hand on the bottom like she could barely manage.  I thought the odd shape of the Tommee Tippee bottles might just be harder for her.

Today, I caught my little willful faker.  She started out with her normal 'hand on the bottom of the bottle' hold and balanced it there.  Then when she was done, she pulled the bottle out with both hands.  She proceeded to turn it around, shake it, smile and chatter at it.  She held that bottle like a pro, and even brought it to her mouth easily a few more times.  I'm pretty sure she's had the ability for a while now considering how well she has held her toys; she just didn't want to do it.  No tears, anger, or fuss.  Just a quiet refusal to do something that she didn't want to do.  I guess she finally got tired of not having control of her milk.

I think I'm going to have to keep a close eye on her in coming years.  I can imagine her quietly going to her room when I tell her to clean it and proceeding to play for a few hours, and I don't even want to contemplate the implications for the teen years. 

I foresee a lot of double-checking in my future.  :)

Competing with Yourself

I'm sorry that it has been over a week since I posted.  Aside from a brief mini-vacation, things have been a bit crazy around here, and not always in a good way.  Colds, exterminators, and a great deal of "seriously?" in the last two weeks.  I can only be grateful that Kira isn't a toddler yet, or things would have been destroyed.  Yeah, like that.

Anyway, on to my point.  I've posted a lot about the trend of competitive motherhood.  Just recently, I've been reminded that the competition is not always external.  I've found myself struggling with the internal kind, and boy, is it insidious.  

I have several friends on Facebook who have babies around the same age as Kira, and they post pictures.  Pictures of their babies crawling, pulling themselves up in their cribs, holding their own bottles--all things that Kira has yet to master.  Now I'm not one of those mothers who thinks bad thoughts about other babies; I'm legitimately happy for those families.  The criticism is all for myself.  "What am I doing wrong?" I ask myself.  I start to wonder if it is my fault that Kira isn't already doing these things.

I've heard over and over that babies develop at their own pace and that we shouldn't compare.  Logically, I understand and even believe this.  So why can't I seem to believe it emotionally?  Surely I should be able to teach Kira to play Mozart and read Shakespeare by 5, right?  Surely.

When this happens, I just have to stop and roll my eyes at myself.  Sometimes, I am too much of a perfectionist for my own good.  So Kira isn't crawling or walking circles around the couch.  What, exactly, does that mean?

Besides the fact that I don't have to chase her yet.  Hmm... Maybe the other mothers are envying me.  :)

Babies, the Natural Mood Boost

I have come to realize that babies are a mood boost.  I'm not necessarily talking about the joy we feel as parents nor am I in any way implying that postpartum depression can be cured by our babies.  As a matter of fact, I'm not talking about depression at all.  I'm talking about a baby's effect on other people, random strangers you see in stores, the park, the zoo, etc.  If you are paying attention, it is magical.

Now let's be honest: a crying baby in public doesn't help anyone's mood.  Pretty much ever.  But I've noticed that when Kira is happy in her stroller, the people around us are happy, too.  People who were walking by with frowns, looking harried, will stop for just a moment to smile at my daughter.  In restaurants, neighboring diners brighten when they see Kira chewing on a roll or practicing her "ma da la ba da."  Her smile has the power to alter the worst moods.

Is it her innocence, her cuteness?  Or is it the innate happiness she exudes (except at nap time)?  I wish I had her ability to be so absolutely, completely happy.  So in the moment.  Rest, a full stomach, and a nice stroller ride with new sights to see--these are enough for her.  In that instant, Kira probably isn't thinking about getting a new toy or outfit or about what kind of cereal she'll have for lunch.  She is just happy to be in that place at that time with her physical needs met.

Maybe when adults and older children stop to smile at her, they are picking up on that magical, pure happiness.  Babies remind us of hope, innocence, and joy for a reason.

Maybe we could all learn from a happy baby in a stroller.

Diaper Woes

Before Kira was born, I was convinced I would use Huggies Little Snugglers Diapers. They looked so cute and had the little cutout for her umbilical cord.  The only problem--they didn't work well for her.  I ended up going with the Pampers Swaddlers that the hospital used because they were wonderful for Kira.  They held up well and rarely leaked.  I even ordered the size 2-3 from Amazon so she could stay in them longer.  Although she could still fit into them now weight-wise, her increased activity has made it necessary to move to the next stage.

Unfortunately, so far I haven't found a diaper that works as well.  Pampers Cruisers are great when she's awake, but they leak at almost every nap.  The back is just not designed for a baby who likes to prop her legs up on the breathable bumper in her crib.  Huggies Little Movers work great at nap and bedtime because they have a gather at the back, but they have leaked on three different outings for no apparent reason.  I tell you, fellow parents, it's enough to drive me just a little crazy.

I guess my next try will be Target brand.  I've heard good things about them.  I'm still too intimidated to try cloth diapering, especially since my husband will then change zero diapers.  Guess we'll see how my next try goes.



(Disclaimer:  I was not paid by any diaper company for this post.  Darn it.  Alas, we had to pay for the above diapers.  But if any diaper company wants to send me some to try, I'll certainly post about it.  ;-)  I do have the Amazon Associate links, but there's no obligation to buy anything.)     

Mystery Fevers and Paranormal Fun

Last week, as you might have guessed by my lack of blog posts, was a bit hectic and a little strange.  Wednesday, I took Kira to get her flu shot booster.  She felt a little warm to me but didn't seem sick.  I asked the nurse, who took Kira's temperature, and found out she was running a 101 degree fever.  The nurse's concern worried me, so it was a difficult wait until they could get her in to the doctor later that day.  The cause?  Maybe a virus or roseola.  Now it is Sunday, and the fever is gone.  She never had any signs of actual sickness, so who knows what it was.

Then Wednesday night, just as I had started to relax in bed, I felt a nudge in the small of my back.  My back was to the wall, so it couldn't have been my husband moving around.  I turned around, but I didn't see any sign of a ghost or other mysterious entity.  No fog, creepy music, or strange voice muttering threats.  Honestly, it felt just like someone trying gently to get my attention.  I have no idea what it was, but I am 100% positive that I did not imagine it.  I wasn't anywhere near sleep, and it wasn't a subtle touch that could've been the blanket moving or something.  The experience was both freaky and cool at the same time.

Did you have an interesting week?

Baby Bathing Woes

I always thought that babies loved baths.  Oh, sure, there is generally an adjustment period.  Newborns are confused enough as it is and are generally not thrilled the first couple of times you put them in a bath tub.  But soon, they are soothed by the water until it becomes an essential part of calming down for bed.

Not my baby.

From the very first attempt until just yesterday, she has always screamed her head off at every bath.  First, she was in the newborn sling on her baby tub, then in the baby tub itself.  I put the tub in the kitchen sink, and I put it in the big bath tub.  Screaming.  Next, I ran a little bit of water in the big tub and tried her in there.  I've tried colorful character sponges, singing, making funny noises, and bubble bath.  Nothing works.

Yesterday was my first attempt with the bubble bath.  Now that she is a good sitter, I thought she might like to sit in the tub and play with the bubbles.  No such luck.  She cried and kept looking at me with this expression of misery bordering on betrayal.  "Why, Mommy?  Why do you do this to me?"  I really dread bath time.

The only other thing I can think of is bathing with her, but I don't know when I'll be able to do that.  My pelvis is still out of alignment from the birth, so getting in and out of our little tub in our cramped bathroom with a baby seems like a painful and dangerous proposition.  I'm completely out of ideas at this point.

Any suggestions?

Kira Picks a Car Seat

Last weekend, we went shopping for a convertible car seat for Kira.  I was much more prepared this time.  When I picked her travel system before she was born, I had no clue what to look for.  They were all pretty much the same, right?  Wrong!  For the love of all that is holy, don't pick Cosco.  Trying to push that stroller was like escorting a drunk home.  As soon as she could hold her head up, we abandoned the stroller portion for the Combi Cosmo EX Stroller in Wasabi Noche and just transferred her to the stroller at need.  And now, we have finally replaced the loathsome, hard-to-buckle car seat.

I did a lot of research online.  Based on reviews I read on babiesrus.com and amazon.com, I decided to go to our local Babies-R-Us and take a look at two different models.  We ended up looking at a third while we were there, as well.  We tried:
   Review-wise, Britax slightly edged out Evenflo (and Safety 1st, I discovered later).  Since the Britax is regularly $279.00, I thought it was worth checking out the competition.  Both had good safety reviews.

The Britax and Evenflo were next to each other in the store, making comparison easy.  My husband preferred the Evenflo right away.  He said that it seemed to have more padding and that it looked more comfortable.  Undecided, we put Kira in the Britax.  It was easy to adjust once I figured out how, and she sat there looking around happily.  Then we switched her to the Evenflo.  Almost immediately, she started to fidget.  By the time we got everything adjusted, she was making angry noises.  Kira voted no.  When we tried the Safety 1st seat a little farther down, her reaction was worse.  Though it was clearly designed to start out rear-facing, she didn't seem to fit well in the seat.  So we moved her back to the Britax to make sure she wasn't just irritated in general and--happy baby. 

Cost-wise, the Britax would be closer to $209 with Babies-R-Us' 25% trade-in deal (bring an old item for 25% off a new one), but come to find out, Amazon had this Britax model for sale for $209 without having to trade anything in.  With the Amazon Prime membership I still had from when I signed up for Amazon Mom, I got free, 2-day shipping.  I decided to order from Amazon.

The car seat arrived yesterday, and it was easy to install (provided you can read directions).  Most importantly, Kira still seems happy with her choice:

Sippy Cup Win

At her 6 month appointment, Kira's doctor told me that I should start trying her on a sippy cup with a goal of being off bottles by one year old.  This sounded like an excellent plan.  The only problem--Kira wanted no part of the process.

I first tried the Tommee Tippee First Sips Weaning Cup - 4m+ - 5 Oz. (Pink) (except mine was a hard spout design that I can't find to show you).  I thought Kira would transition well to this kind because she loves her Tommee Tippee bottles, but all she did was make a disgusted face and look at me like I was crazy.  I thought that maybe it was the hard spout and started to look for another type.

Since they didn't have the cup linked above at my local Babies R Us, I next bought the Dr. Brown's Soft Spout Training Cup, 6 Ounce.  Yet another fail, my friends.  I even tried taking out the part that makes the cup spill-proof to see if better flow would help.  But as soon as she felt the odd shape, her face screwed up in that annoyed look and more juice was wasted.

I tried both cups multiple times over the last month, hoping she would eventually adjust, but Kira refused to take either one.  Last week, Mom and I were wandering around Walmart and came across the Playtex Baby The First Lil' Gripper Twist 'n Click Straw Cup 7 OZ - girl colors.  I was doubtful, but Mom was willing to buy it for Kira to see if she would take a cup with a straw.  I tried it today, and it actually worked!

It took her a few tries, and I still have to steady the cup for her.  Despite that, she managed to drink two ounces.  Obviously, I can't do away with bottles any time soon, but that's two ounces more than she's ever drank out of a cup.  I am cautiously optimistic.

If there are any other moms out there struggling with the sippy cup transition, I highly recommend this type of cup.  I'm hoping that once she learns that milk can come from something besides a bottle she will start to take other kinds as well.  Keep your fingers crossed! 

Adventures in Baby Feeding

Feeding a baby solid food is not always as easy as you might think.  I must admit that when I was pregnant, I didn't put much thought into it.  When she was ready, I would give Kira cereal.  I had vague plans to make her baby food.  Someday, somehow, she would eat table food.

While the making of baby food has turned out to be pretty easy, I find myself stumbling over when, what, and how much to feed her.  The doctor gave me a chart and said to feed her less milk when I started the food.  But how much less milk do you give for the tablespoon of vegetables recommended by the chart?  And how much solid food do you really give in the first place?  It takes a great deal of experimentation to figure out these things.  You can't always trust the advice "feed the baby until she looks away or loses interest" if you have a baby like mine, either.  She'll take a couple of spoonfuls and then--oh look, there's the cat!  Hey, what's that over there?  Assume she is done and wipe her face, and the Wrath of Baby descends upon your head.  Kicking, mouth smacking, and crying that can only be translated as "NOOOOO Mommy, I'm a starving baby!  Staaaarrrrving...." commence.  So you feed the baby another spoonful and then--is that the dog??  The dog is cool, Mommy.  Repeat face wiping and baby wrath.

Now that Kira is almost seven months and teething, it is time to start giving her a little bit of regular food.  I'm terrified to give her something that will make her choke or cause an allergic reaction.  Is there too much salt, sugar, or fat?  If I give her little (or larger) pieces of fruit to chew, will she choke?  What if a biscuit contains egg?  She's not supposed to have that yet because it's a possible allergen, right?  GAHHHHHH!!!      

I have come to the inevitable conclusion that I have no idea what to do next.  Pureed foods are pretty easy, once you figure out what age she can start what.  I am simply clueless about the transition between pureed and table food.  And those motherly instincts I should be listening to--well, they aren't saying a great deal on the issue.  You see, I'm terrified that I'm going to make a mistake.  Aside from choking and allergies, there's the ever present fear that if I feed her the wrong way, I'll contribute to her being overweight someday.  It is a great deal of responsibility.  I'm beginning to think that all I can do is muddle through the best I can.  

The One Person Village

Being a stay at home mother is a lonely and sometimes grueling job.  It probably doesn't seem like it would be to someone who has never done it.  After all, such moms are at home all day.  What could there possibly be to do in all that time?  Housework and childcare surely don't take that long.  But you see, it isn't just the work itself.  It is the constant monotony and glaring isolation.  It is being on call at all times.  When you have an infant, it is trying to calm someone who can't tell you what is wrong for hours on end.

Don't get me wrong.  I love being with my daughter, and I do take time for myself sometimes.  But days of getting things done in brief snatches and seeing no one but my husband and baby start to drag at my psyche.  It builds and builds until suddenly I feel defeated.  All I can do is go through the motions and hope it gets better soon.

I've heard that it takes a village to raise a child.  The thing is, we don't live in villages around here.  I barely know my neighbors.  Most of my family live over an hour away, and my husband's family is even farther.  I have friends, but they live twenty minutes or more from here and have their own challenges.  I feel like a one-person village.  My husband tries to give me some relief, but there is only so much he can do.  I haven't been away from my daughter for even an hour since November.

Before the advent of the single-family household norm, new mothers would have other relatives around to help.  Mom, Grandmother, Aunts, Sisters--a network of women who shared all of the household tasks.  Oh, I'm sure there were disadvantages, like a lack of privacy and personality conflicts, but at least there were people to help lift the burden of sometimes-overwhelming responsibility.  Now, we must learn to forge our own support networks.  We need to find the mothers who, like me, are sitting at home feeling lost.  And don't forget working mothers!  Their challenges are different in ways but no less daunting.  We need other women around us no matter how their journey of motherhood may differ.  We need a network tied together by our shared struggle rather than by blood.

In modern life, we have to build a new type of village.  Let's start now!

Amazon Subscription Users Beware

A few months ago, I decided to try Amazon's subscription service for diapers.  I'd already signed up for Amazon Mom, which gives you 15% off things like diapers and wipes and signs you up for a few free months of Amazon Prime shipping.  The subscription gives an extra 15% off.  I thought, "Forty dollars worth of diapers for thirty?  Sounds awesome!"

There's only one problem.  After your first shipment or two, they will unexpectedly change your shipping from the free two-day shipping you get on all purchases when you have Amazon Prime to free standard shipping, which takes an entire week.  Isn't it lovely when you have your diaper purchasing all timed out just to find out the day your order is sent that your diapers won't be there for an extra five days?  I'm sure Kira won't mind holding it for that long, right?

Their description of their Subscribe and Save program doesn't mention this.  It says merely "get free shipping."  It isn't until you really look at their Terms of Service that it becomes (vaguely) clearer.  They say only: "All Subscribe & Save orders ship for free. However, shipping upgrades are not permitted with Subscribe & Save orders."  It may seem strange that I'm complaining.  Hey, shipping is still free, right?  But consider this: My Amazon Prime membership gives me a $9.99 shipping value for free.  Standard shipping costs $4.99.  That is $5 of savings that I just lost without warning.  Besides that, I have to go to the store and pay $10 for 30 diapers just to make it until the delivery arrives.  That is $.33 a diaper vs. the $.20 a diaper I thought I would be getting from Amazon.  By the time I buy enough diapers to fill in the holes in their shipping, I might as well go buy diapers from Sam's Club when I need them.

If you want to use Amazon's subscription service, beware!  You do get a pretty good discount, but you never know how long the package will take to get there.

The Equal Family

We've all met her.  The bitter, discontent mother who is never happy with her children or anything else in her life.  As soon as she hears that you are planning to have a baby, she will start telling you that your life is over.  Soon, according to her, your life will be a miserable abyss of housework.  Mom comes last, after all. 

On the other side, there is the careless mother.  She won't understand why you won't come out partying with her while you're pregnant or after you have your baby because she spends every weekend at the club.  Her baby waddles around in the same diaper all day, and her house resembles a toxic wasteland.  Mom comes first, after all.

Where is the balance?  We should not strive to be either of these mothers.  We are neither first nor last but equal. 

I have heard too many people say that mothers get the leftovers.  We have this image of the self-sacrificing mother, a martyr for sure, who has no interests but her family's interests.  She eats her dinner cold after serving everyone else.  She always takes a cold shower because she is the last to get one.  My question is this: why do we allow this to continue in the modern family?  Yes, motherhood requires sacrifice--but so does fatherhood.  Women are no longer subservient, second-class citizens.  Not even a stay-at-home mom should accept such treatment.  We should strive to be a family of equals.

As with the example of the second mother, we should not take this too far.  Sometimes moms will get the cold shower or the leftover food.  Such is life.  But it is vitally important that we take time for ourselves as well.  A bitter, miserable person is a sad example for a child.  Instead, we should teach our children about compromise, about working with one's partner to make sure everyone gets their share.  Everyone in the family deserves relaxation time. 

It is time that we stop bemoaning the leftovers.  Let's try making enough for everyone instead.     

Motherhood: The New Competitive Sport

If you are expecting a child or are a mother already, chances are you have gone on at least one pregnancy/parenting forum.  Most of the ladies on these forums are nice and helpful.  But no matter how good the online community, there are certain subject lines that make you groan.  Why?  Because you know that yet another argument is about to happen.  Seeing titles with words like breastfeeding, vaccinations, cosleeping, CIO, solid foods will either make you move on quickly or get on your (metaphorical) boxing gloves.  It doesn't matter what side you are on.  The battle has already been orchestrated; all that is needed is for the unwitting to ask an innocent question.  I've seen this countless times, and my daughter is only five months old.  The arguments aren't limited to forums, either; they happen between friends who have children and are a close relative to the unsolicited advice heaped on new mothers. 

But the question is--why?

Why do we treat these issues as earth-shattering, my way or the highway debates to be won At All Costs?  We get so caught up in our love and concern for our babies that we don't stop and think.  How important are all of these things in the long run?  Look at all of the successful, intelligent people in your life.  Do you know how they were fed?  Diapered?  Where they slept?  I'm guessing not.  These are all very important parenting decisions for each family to make, but they are not so life-altering that we need to bash each other for them.  A formula-fed baby can grow up to be a successful, happy person if they try hard enough.  We are what we make ourselves.

So why do we, as mothers, feel the need to defend and promote our preferences so virulently?  It is as though we are insecure about our abilities.  After all, there isn't a secret manual given out to all new mothers with the secrets of perfect parenting.  We are all guessing, really.  But if you can say "I am a good mother because I do X instead of Y," then you can validate your choices and feel better about yourself.  How easy is it to turn that statement into "She is a bad mother because she does Y instead of X.  Aren't I so awesome?"  We need to stop relying on criticizing others to boost our own confidence.  Is your baby happy, fed, clothed, clean, played with, and loved?  Do you ignore your baby's needs to play WoW or watch t.v.?  If you answered yes to the first question and no to the second, then you are a good mother.  There.  Stop stressing.

Because, really, do we gain anything from this competition except a way to pat ourselves on the back?  The truth is, whether you cosleep, cloth diaper, and breastfeed or put baby in a crib, use disposable diapers, and forumla feed (or any other combination), your child will grow up to make their own life.  Decide what works for you and your family, own your decision, and move on.  Our children will probably never remember if they drank formula or breastmilk (I had to ask), but if we make this cycle a habit, they will remember us bragging to / bashing others about how great our parenting skills are or waffling back and forth because another mother convinced us to do something we didn't really want to do.  Remember that the example we live has the biggest impact of all.

Embrace the diversity of mothers everywhere.  We don't have to agree on every point to be friends.  And, hey, we might learn something new if we keep an open mind!  Motherhood is a tough enough job without alienating those we could possibly get support from.

Note: This is not intended to be a sexist article.  I am just not certain if this kind of competition exists for fathers because I have mostly seen women on these boards.  Any Dads out there with some input?

Making Baby Food, Attempt One

Over the course of two nights, I made baby food for the first time.  Now, before you think it must have been a horrible experience to take so long, I can say that it wasn't.  It was lack of preparation that caused the delay.  Learn from my mistakes!  :)

I had seen a recipe book at the lactation boutique and thought making baby food was an interesting idea, but I didn't think about it too seriously until my friend sent me a link to a website with recipes.  I decided to buy foods for Kira to see if she liked them before I made a bunch of anything, and there are several organic brands that are pretty good. 

One of Kira's favorite foods so far is sweet potatoes, and the recipe seemed easy, so I decided to make those first.  I bought two organic sweet potatoes and baked them.  It took about an hour and fifteen minutes at 400 degrees in my average-quality oven.  Getting the 'meat' out was pretty easy.  I could pretty much pull the skin off the potato after it had baked (and cooled, of course).  I tried mashing the sweet potatoes with some water by hand, but it was a little thicker than I wanted.  I think the consistency would have been fine if Kira was a month or two older, but at five months, I wanted it to be smooth.  This is where the second night came in--I had just put Kira to bed, and there was no way I was getting out the blender at that point!

So the following afternoon, I put the refrigerated sweet potatoes in the blender to finish smoothing them out, then put the mix in a couple of ice cube trays to freeze.  Two sweet potatoes filled two trays!  Considering how little Kira eats at this age, she will have sweet potatoes for a long time.  Thankfully, they will last a while in the freezer!

I'm pleased with this first experiment.  It was very easy, and I could do other things while the sweet potatoes were baking.  If I'd known that I would want to put them in the blender, I could have skipped hand-mashing and finished this even more quickly.  And best of all?  We spent about $3 on about 24 servings of organic sweet potatoes, compared to $1.50 for two servings of store-bought organic baby food.