I'm sorry that it has been over a week since I posted. Aside from a brief mini-vacation, things have been a bit crazy around here, and not always in a good way. Colds, exterminators, and a great deal of "seriously?" in the last two weeks. I can only be grateful that Kira isn't a toddler yet, or things would have been destroyed. Yeah, like that.
Anyway, on to my point. I've posted a lot about the trend of competitive motherhood. Just recently, I've been reminded that the competition is not always external. I've found myself struggling with the internal kind, and boy, is it insidious.
I have several friends on Facebook who have babies around the same age as Kira, and they post pictures. Pictures of their babies crawling, pulling themselves up in their cribs, holding their own bottles--all things that Kira has yet to master. Now I'm not one of those mothers who thinks bad thoughts about other babies; I'm legitimately happy for those families. The criticism is all for myself. "What am I doing wrong?" I ask myself. I start to wonder if it is my fault that Kira isn't already doing these things.
I've heard over and over that babies develop at their own pace and that we shouldn't compare. Logically, I understand and even believe this. So why can't I seem to believe it emotionally? Surely I should be able to teach Kira to play Mozart and read Shakespeare by 5, right? Surely.
When this happens, I just have to stop and roll my eyes at myself. Sometimes, I am too much of a perfectionist for my own good. So Kira isn't crawling or walking circles around the couch. What, exactly, does that mean?
Besides the fact that I don't have to chase her yet. Hmm... Maybe the other mothers are envying me. :)
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