Friday, February 11, 2011

Weight Loss Fail

Last week I decided to start Weight Watchers.  Again.  I guess this is the third or fourth try now.  To be fair, the first try was very successful.  I lost over 75 pounds.  So what happened?  I couldn't be happy with what I'd lost.  I wanted to lose 10 more pounds despite how content my body obviously was at 145.  I pushed so hard that my body and mind went on revolt, and predictably, I gained it all back.  Subsequent attempts have been even more dismal.

To complicate the issue, I could eat as much as I wanted when I was pregnant.  I only gained 7 pounds that wasn't baby weight, and I could fit back in my old clothes within a week of having her (before you feel too envious, I was still plus-sized).  I also didn't have to worry about it while I was (attempting) breastfeeding.  That's almost an entire year without counting, weighing, or stressing about food.

Now, it feels almost impossible to get back on track; this attempt lasted less than a week.  I've found that I just hate counting points.  It makes me feel like some kind of food criminal, like I'm on probation.  I feel set apart from everyone else, those happy people who go about their lives eating what they want without having to write it down.  I'm not talking about a lack of control or overeating.  I'm talking about the simple freedom of not having to stress over every bite.

I have to do something, though.  I can't stand being like this.  Though I would like to be able to buy the clothes I like, it really isn't about vanity.  I want to run, to go on a hike, have energy.  I need to be a good example for my daughter.  The problem is, I don't know how to get there.

What works for you?  I could really use some tips, here. 


  1. Hi, I'm following you back.

    Why can't you run or go on a hike? What about riding a bike? Or even a stationary bike. Those are easy ways to exercise. A nice walk isn't bad either. Don't stress too much about losing weight!

    Are you eating healthy? (I don't know much about Weight Watchers).
    Good luck with your weight loss goals.

    Hip Chick's Guide to PMS, Pregnancy, and Babies

  2. I can't exercise well because I'm so out of shape that I get out of breath if I walk more than 20 minutes at a time and because my pelvis has been out of alignment since I had my baby, making walking a sometimes painful experience. I'm hoping that dropping even 15 pounds will help with this some.

    I am trying to eat healthy, but it is sometimes difficult. I guess I need to learn better habits.

  3. I was frustrated with the same thing when I first started SparkPeople. I mean, geez, I'm trying to get out from under the whole food-runs-my-life thing and here food is running my life! What I found was that after a week or so, I had a pretty good idea of what I could eat and how much of it in order to stay within my allotted caloric intake. I don't have anything bad for me in the house--it's all crackers, cheese, pretzels, hummus, etc.--so that helps. I still log everything and occasionally go "oops," but it's not a driving force anymore. Also, I know that if I have something bad for me, I have to be willing to have smaller portions of other stuff later, and as long as I'm willing to give up any snacks later, I can totally have the leftover pizza for lunch (that's what I did today).

    That was a really long-winded way of saying it's really hard starting out, but it gets easier. You just have to power through those first couple of weeks and deal with the annoyance.

  4. Beth, this is why we were doing our own little meeting thing, remember? I know we missed last week, but we can get together this week, and talk and share encouragement.

    I understand how you feel, but I believe you can do it! I believe WE can do it! I have ideas - we should talk.