Last week I decided to start Weight Watchers. Again. I guess this is the third or fourth try now. To be fair, the first try was very successful. I lost over 75 pounds. So what happened? I couldn't be happy with what I'd lost. I wanted to lose 10 more pounds despite how content my body obviously was at 145. I pushed so hard that my body and mind went on revolt, and predictably, I gained it all back. Subsequent attempts have been even more dismal.
To complicate the issue, I could eat as much as I wanted when I was pregnant. I only gained 7 pounds that wasn't baby weight, and I could fit back in my old clothes within a week of having her (before you feel too envious, I was still plus-sized). I also didn't have to worry about it while I was (attempting) breastfeeding. That's almost an entire year without counting, weighing, or stressing about food.
Now, it feels almost impossible to get back on track; this attempt lasted less than a week. I've found that I just hate counting points. It makes me feel like some kind of food criminal, like I'm on probation. I feel set apart from everyone else, those happy people who go about their lives eating what they want without having to write it down. I'm not talking about a lack of control or overeating. I'm talking about the simple freedom of not having to stress over every bite.
I have to do something, though. I can't stand being like this. Though I would like to be able to buy the clothes I like, it really isn't about vanity. I want to run, to go on a hike, have energy. I need to be a good example for my daughter. The problem is, I don't know how to get there.
What works for you? I could really use some tips, here.