Friday, February 11, 2011

Weight Loss Fail

Last week I decided to start Weight Watchers.  Again.  I guess this is the third or fourth try now.  To be fair, the first try was very successful.  I lost over 75 pounds.  So what happened?  I couldn't be happy with what I'd lost.  I wanted to lose 10 more pounds despite how content my body obviously was at 145.  I pushed so hard that my body and mind went on revolt, and predictably, I gained it all back.  Subsequent attempts have been even more dismal.

To complicate the issue, I could eat as much as I wanted when I was pregnant.  I only gained 7 pounds that wasn't baby weight, and I could fit back in my old clothes within a week of having her (before you feel too envious, I was still plus-sized).  I also didn't have to worry about it while I was (attempting) breastfeeding.  That's almost an entire year without counting, weighing, or stressing about food.

Now, it feels almost impossible to get back on track; this attempt lasted less than a week.  I've found that I just hate counting points.  It makes me feel like some kind of food criminal, like I'm on probation.  I feel set apart from everyone else, those happy people who go about their lives eating what they want without having to write it down.  I'm not talking about a lack of control or overeating.  I'm talking about the simple freedom of not having to stress over every bite.

I have to do something, though.  I can't stand being like this.  Though I would like to be able to buy the clothes I like, it really isn't about vanity.  I want to run, to go on a hike, have energy.  I need to be a good example for my daughter.  The problem is, I don't know how to get there.

What works for you?  I could really use some tips, here. 

4 comments:

  1. Hi, I'm following you back.

    Why can't you run or go on a hike? What about riding a bike? Or even a stationary bike. Those are easy ways to exercise. A nice walk isn't bad either. Don't stress too much about losing weight!

    Are you eating healthy? (I don't know much about Weight Watchers).
    Good luck with your weight loss goals.

    -DP
    Hip Chick's Guide to PMS, Pregnancy, and Babies

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  2. I can't exercise well because I'm so out of shape that I get out of breath if I walk more than 20 minutes at a time and because my pelvis has been out of alignment since I had my baby, making walking a sometimes painful experience. I'm hoping that dropping even 15 pounds will help with this some.

    I am trying to eat healthy, but it is sometimes difficult. I guess I need to learn better habits.

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  3. I was frustrated with the same thing when I first started SparkPeople. I mean, geez, I'm trying to get out from under the whole food-runs-my-life thing and here food is running my life! What I found was that after a week or so, I had a pretty good idea of what I could eat and how much of it in order to stay within my allotted caloric intake. I don't have anything bad for me in the house--it's all crackers, cheese, pretzels, hummus, etc.--so that helps. I still log everything and occasionally go "oops," but it's not a driving force anymore. Also, I know that if I have something bad for me, I have to be willing to have smaller portions of other stuff later, and as long as I'm willing to give up any snacks later, I can totally have the leftover pizza for lunch (that's what I did today).

    That was a really long-winded way of saying it's really hard starting out, but it gets easier. You just have to power through those first couple of weeks and deal with the annoyance.

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  4. Beth, this is why we were doing our own little meeting thing, remember? I know we missed last week, but we can get together this week, and talk and share encouragement.

    I understand how you feel, but I believe you can do it! I believe WE can do it! I have ideas - we should talk.

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